it's 2010 alright .

three years ago on new year's eve, i was lying in bed, crying my eyes out so hard that i can still vividly remember that feeling. my ex-boyfriend decided it was cool to blow off his girlfriend at the eleventh hour to spend it at a party smoking weed. yeah, how mature was that? it was painful for not just me, but for my parents too as i remember my dad coming into my room to try to cheer me up, saying, "come on, it's the New Year. come have a drink with your old man." needless to say, 2006 was the worst year ever.

three years on and on 31st December 2009, i was cooking a three-course dinner with my sister as we prepared an intimate countdown party for three - myself, sis and gaoster. we laughed, feasted, jumped around the balcony with sparklers in our hands while watching random fireworks go on display from different locations, and played mahjong till the wee hours. it might have been a very small and quiet affair but it was one of the best new year's eve for me.

salmon and avocado on white bread


baked potatoes stuffed with anchovy fillets, bacon, sage leaves, garlic and lemon zest.



tomato salad with cannellini beans, black olives and tuna flakes



baked blue grenadier fillet with bacon and rosemary



Simmone Logue sticky date pudding (all the way from Sydney!)

happy new year to you! i hope you had a great one and biggest thanks to you for being a reader, be it on a regular or random basis, THANKS! hugs and kisses, with a warped capsicum in hand (:

2009, the last of the notties .

i'm sitting here, trying to think of the highlights of the last year, and i must admit that 2009 was a pretty good year for me. a good year to me is one that sees a gradual change and improvement of myself in certain aspects of my life. in this instance, it's my academic growth and achievement as well as fashion sense and style. besides that, my relationships with my family, boyfriend and friends have also strengthened in each of their own way.

it seems too good to be true innit? i know. nothing's perfect and there were inevitably some obstacles along the way, mainly procrastination and lack of discipline. and i'm normally not one who believes in reflecting on my life ONLY at the end of the year but since i've started this blog as a platform for my random musings and what not, i thought, why not write it all down for memory? so, here it is - my  highlights and downers of 2009:

(:  moving into an apartment with gaoster and adding it with our own homely touch.
(: graduating from Monash University with First Class Honours and having the whole family around.
(: starting this blog which lead me to getting to know so many wonderful people out there.
(: visiting Sydney three times!

): not writing my thesis to the best that i could have.
): hearing from gaoster that he'll be going to Manchester University for a year long exchange (even though i had highly encouraged him to do so)

i hope your 2009 has been a good one too!

hello goodbye, goodbye.

a friend once said to me, "our theses are like babies. we carry them for nine months and then we give birth to it at the end of the term."

indeed. for nine months, all i could (and should) be thinking about was how i would nurture this 'baby' growing inside me. i fed it slowly, i talked to it in my mind, i planned its future on paper, i gathered as much information as i could to make sure my baby would become the best. but sometimes, i also just wanted to chuck it away. i didn't understand what was the whole point in nurturing this baby. i kept asking myself, is this really what you want to be doing? what is the whole point in feeding it what you're feeding? is that the best you can give? i've stressed myself out too much; i really wanted the best for my baby. will i reap what i sow?

it has indeed been a long and treacherous term, at times chokingly unbearable. if i had known it would be like this, would i still put myself through this?

another friend asked, "do you regret doing Honours? or is that whole experience wonderful?"
i said i don't but if i could, i would change my thesis topic and i would want another supervisor. and to my own question, yes i would still have gone through with this ridiculously mind-boggling period because giving birth is a feeling that's quite "wonderful", quite indescribable, quite out of the world, yet also quite painful.

i've given it what i could. now, its future lies in the hands of two strange persons. i can only hope for the best.